Rule Number 1 - "Don't Answer Your Cell Phone While Sitting on the Toilet in a Public Restroom

The other day I was using the facilities in one of our men's restrooms at work.  As I sat there, I heard a loud cell phone ringer from the next stall.  It rang three times.  I wondered if the idiot was going to answer it.  Finally he did, but I am sure he soon regrettted his decision.  The conversation went something like this:

"Hello."  "Yes this is George," "What do you need?"

At this point a guy in another stall flushed a toilet and the loud flushing sound reverberated within the restroom.  The person on the other line must have heard the unmistakable sound and asked where George was.

"Oh, I'm at work." [Good answer, George.  Keep the details to a minimum]

At this point another guy in a nearby stall let loose with the loudest and most disgusting sound I have ever heard.  It echoed off the tile walls and instantly filled the room with a horrible smell as well as a dark mist.

"What's that?" [The person must have asked another question, that George didn't understand, probably due to

the loud noise.]

"Oh, it's just some guys messing around in the next cubicle." [They must have heard the sound as well.]

"No, I am not in the bathroom!"  [This comment was followed by another toilet flush and a loud grunt from another stall.]

"I will have to call you back later.  I am really busy, now."  [The caller must have been pressing for the truth]

"I am busy, that's all."  [Sounds like the caller doesn't believe what they are hearing.]

[Two more flushes and a loud groan reverberate within the room.]

"I AM telling you the truth!  I am NOT in the bathroom."  [The situation is definitely getting worse]

[By now, everyone in the room knows what is going on and are doing their best to make the situation as difficult as possible for this poor guy]

"Say, Mac!  Don't forget to wash your hands,"  yells one guy.

"I will, Joe, but it looks like we are running low on soap," adds another man nearby.

"What is that awful smell?"  asks still another.  "We are going to have to change your diet!"

"Hello.  Hello.  Hello."  [Apparently the caller hung up.]